Why, hello there, folks! May I call you "folks"? I'll be your pilot today. What? Am I "qualified" to fly this jalopy? You betcha! Why? Because I'm a mom, that's why. No, I don't know what all these switches and handles and whatnot are. I don't CARE what they are, to tell ya the truth. The important thing is that I'm ready, I'm willing, and (wink) I'm eager as heck to get the job done! THAT'S what matters.
Doncha think? O-kay then. Here we go!
Whoops! Whew. That's a lotta noise. And just a teensy bit of fire back there. But what the heck, right? It's fuel, and energy happens to be my specialty.
What? Who's that fella yellin' over the radio? Air traffic control? Well, who the heck cares? No, honestly, really: Who cares? I sure as heck don't, and I don't think my passengers do either.
What's my heading? What's my heading? We're on the right track and we know where we want to go, that's for darn sure.
No, I'm not going to give you my "bearings," or whatever it is you call those little numbers. Look here, Buster, I might not answer those questions the way you or the other pilots might like. But you know what? I'm going to talk straight to my passengers here, without the filter of any darned air traffic controllers or FAA or whatever the heck you all are calling yourselves now.
I mean, how good can you guys be at your jobs, anyhoo? There are just a heck of a lot, I mean a HECK of a lot of plane crashes all the darn time. So real people like me and my passengers figure it's time for some fresh air in this whole flying business anyway.
What? What are you saying there in your fancy-dancy tower down there? We don't have towers like that on Main Street in Wasilla, buster, you can bet your life. Nope. Just a whole heck of a lot of common sense, which is all too rare in this world today, doncha think?
And if I can handle a crying baby and ban a book and milk the federal government for all the pork my little town can hold, all at the same time, then for cryin' out loud don't you think I can fly your darn little airplane?
What? are you TALKING again? Saying that most crashes are due to pilot error? Like, because the pilot didn't KNOW stuff?
There you go again with your LOOKING BACK. We'd rather look FORWARD where I come from. But then, heck, I guess that's just the darned difference between you and us, isn't it? But you're a good talker, though. I'll give ya that.
Why aren't I changing my heading to zero-one-niner as instructed? Because I'm the mommy, that's why, Mr. Smarty-Pants. I think I've got enough sense to know when to turn a darn airplane.
What's that? Raise flaps? Raise FLAPS? Raise flaps or we'll CRASH? There you go again, raising the white flag of surrender just when we ....
..... [static] ...
Wait. Team, I think we found a survivor. He's in critical condition - looks like he'll need surgery right here at the crash site. But a routine depressurizing of the skull should save his life. Thank God the neurosurgeon's here. Save this one, Doc.
Oh, heck. Ouch. That's gotta hurt, right? No, I didn't go to any fancy-dancy medical school but I'm a Mom so believe-you-me I've seen a booboo or two in my day and if somebody around here just has a sharp thimgamajig we'll have you fixed up in a jiffy. Don't worry. This won't hurt a bit!
RJ Eskow blogs at:
A Night Light
The Sentinel Effect: Healthcare Blog
Future-While-U-Wait
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Can you imagine if you went
Can you imagine if you went for a job interview and told your prospective employer you weren't going to answer their questions, but would just keep emphasizing the points that you feel make you employable? (In a completely incoherent way) And oh, of course, 'winking' at your prospective employer to gain approval.
Hey folks, next time you're looking for a job at your local grocery store, call center, etc., etc., see how winking at your prospective employer and changing the questions on your job application work out - and let Caribou Barbie know, just in case she needs any coaching on employment prospects post-election.
falloch
This was a perfect one, RJ.
This was a perfect one, RJ.
Though one might fairly go back to Reagan, when he said "Government IS the problem" (and then went on to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt after he was elected) and wonder WTF? Why do 50% of these idiot voters think that the Reptiles will control a situation when they get elected by saying that it doesn't need controlling?
And how fucking stupid are the voters who vote for these fucking charlatans?
I don't fucking get it anymore...
_______"Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities" - Voltaire
Mouseketeers
Sarah Palin reminds me of Annette Funicello or some other 50's anachronism. Laura Petrie.
Like representative democracy itself. We're trapped in the amber of our inability to go forward.
FREE AMERICA
REVOLUTIONARY (DIRECT) DEMOCRACY
When I was 12... I had a mad
When I was 12...
I had a mad crush on Annette Funicello, and hell yes, I would've voted for her for President (or VP, or anything else!). Of course, I had no fucking idea about world politics or anything like that - just that, well, Annette was hot!.
Cleverly, the people that long ago decided such things thought that maybe people should be 18 or so, before you were (theoretically) smart enough to vote with your brain instead of your dick (and it was actually 21 back then, not 18...).
Guess that concept has gone totally out the window, when all you have to do to be a VP nominee these days is to be better looking than Darth Cheney in a swimsuit (sorry for that visual - really!).
We're screwed.
_______"Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities" - Voltaire
You nailed it!
smart enough to vote with your brain instead of your dick...
Have you noticed that in the focus groups of people rating Palin on her debate performances, the women kept dialing her down when she winked and used dumb idioms, but the men didnt? Duh! Its because their boners are interfering with their ability to think rationally.
(Personally I was always more turned on by Darlene Gillespe. But then, for me character and clever wit -- and nice long hair -- were bigger attractions than boobs.)
Anyway, Im enjoying the spectacle of Americans displaying their inanity on a global stage, but I worry about what is going to happen if McCain/Palin actually get elected. As far as Im concerned she is no Annette Funicello -- in fact, with that hairstyle and midwestern hick twang, Id say she's a dead ringer for "Mrs. Lupner"
For goodness sake, her husband is even named Taaahhhddd!
I dont feel safe in this world no more
I dont wanna die in no nuclear war
I wanna sail away to a distant shore
And live like an apeman
REVOLUTIONARY (DIRECT) DEMOCRACY
REVOLUTIONARY (DIRECT) DEMOCRACY!
All power to the media!
If I was the kind of guy who replied to posts with a single-word post, like "dumbass", then that's what I'd do in reply to this.
The reason for representative democracy is that most people - I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you - are stupid. Most people are really fucking dumb. They are also greedy, selfish, and cruel.
_______Palin is the PERFECT Republican President
Complete blank slate the NeoCons can program any way they want. Stupid and arrogant enough to not care what her handlers have her do as long as she gets to be President (I worry for John McCain if the Republicans win).
Oh you want me to nuke Iran - I will be a hero? ok You want me to launch an attack against Russia because they are still in Georgia? ok. Pakistan next week?
McSame would never ...
... nuke Pakistan. In fact, he wouldn't even lob a cruise missile into Pakistan to kill Bin Laden if he had the opportunity. Why? Because according to McSame, "It's a sovereign nation," remember?
It's true that McSame has at least a dozen other "sovereign nations" on his list of countries he plans to invade or destroy, but Pakistan isn't one of them.
How dare you!
"How dare you question my fitness to fly this plane! If I weren't qualified to fly it,then I would have never been invited into the cockpit."(smarmy smile) "SO THERE!"(sticks tongue out)
_______"Fundamentalist Christians are the leading cause of atheism in the country." John Fugelsang
GOP Brain Damage
Why do the repubs always run someone with brain damage. Reagan, Bush, Mc Cain and now Palin. Empty sock puppets who have have no thoughts of their own. It's really sad but this article was great!! So funny. I could not have thought of a better analogy.
Why? Because ...
... the empty sock puppets are just that: empty sock puppets. Beginning with Ronald Raygun, followed by Poppy Bush and The Chimp. The real power behind these morons are Jabba the Hut types like Cheney, Perlman and Rove, who couldn't get elected on their own because they're just too creepy -- even to dimwits like Joe Sixpack and his hockey-mom wife Jane. So they keep putting up cut-out posters of real people as president so they can wield power from behind the stage.
sock puppets
Juan, you forgot Bill Clinton. I liked Bill until he became a sock puppet for Walmart et.al. with the NAFTA bill. Once he started smoking that globalism crack pipe, he went to the dark side, to join his wife.
_______How many lives to the gallon does your HumVee get?
you could look it up but
out of 351 repugs in both houses, 44 voted against nafta, out of 313 Dems both houses, 185 voted against nafta. So if NAFTA was so bad, why didn't the America loving conservatives shoot it down. By the way McBush voted for nafta. And if you do your research NAFTA goes back to Saint Dumb Fuck.
I Disagree With That Assessment
As related to Poppy Bush. He didn't have handlers. He IS one of the handlers.
Leave Palin Alone
I hate the sound of her voice but each time she opens her mouth it's another vote for Obama. Ever stupid statement excites the "Rightwing Repug Base" but drives more of the "Moderate Swing Voters" off their safe fence seats. Her latest misquote of Madeline Albright, (paraphrase: Any woman that doesn't vote for a woman is going to hell.) may have excited a few Neochristans but it has probably pissed off a lot more Undecided Voters than anything Obama could have said.
_______The only difference between a Democrat and a Republican, that I have found, is that the Democrats wants to control the government and the Republicans wants to control everything else.
Same ol' Mac...
There is nothing new under the sun about Mac, except they decided to add a little Cheesecake to spice up the menu.
If you didn't appreciate Eskows fitting analogy then there just is no hope for you, "by golly!"
Albert Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Sure explains the conservative doctrine. Hmmmm.... get out the straight jackets?
_______changed email address.
Sally Bookwalter
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some AC/DC in the background...
& she's got nuke-yoo-ler power & mavericks aren't afraid to use it ... we're on the Highway to Hell ... strap yourself in for the ride...
_______some humans ain't human... [John Prine]